It's been kind of a disappointing day. I talked to my best friend J (It's convenient that my five best friends all have different first intials) and that was a blessing. But she was encouraging and we had a relatively hilarious conversation.
But here's the deal, I think I had a very early miscarriage. My period was late and it is never late. It wasn't even late from the D&C---only about 4.5 weeks post D&C. But now we are on day 45 since my last period. Normally, I am on a 30 day cycle so we're saying it's been over six weeks since I started my last period. I did not have a positive pregnancy test but I felt pregnant. I had the EXACT same symptoms I had with Samantha and then slowly the nausea and sore breasts were gone again. I felt pregnant for about 2.5 weeks. Then I thought maybe I am not pregnant. Now, on day 45, significantly late (I have never had a late or missed period ever!!! Except when I was pregnant!) I am having bleeding like I have never had before and the blood is different. It is stringier and seems thicker like there's a little tissue in it. It's more like the bleeding I had the night before the D&C. My lower back and stomach have been slightly crampy for the past week...which is also weird. Couple that with the fact that I have ALWAYS and I MEAN ALWAYS, even my last period, after the D&C, been extremely emotional right before my period comes! This time I was not at all emotional. Even right now, I don't feel as emotionally wrecked as I usually do on my period. Granted, I am on an antidepressant but still...........I am upset about the fact that I feel as though I was pregnant. We also had TONS of sex....no protection...but that's all I want to say about that....
So today, that's what came on. While playing anesthesiologist to the surgeon, I had to go to the bathroom only to find this different, not so normal, period. That's a bummer.
Also, this past weekend I got an interesting phone call. Remember that friend that hadn't called me at all since I called her about the miscarriage??? She called FOR THE FIRST TIME and left a voicemail that basically said she just wanted to tell me she found out she was having a girl! Didn't wait for me to call her back or ask me how I was doing....none of that. I found it very self-centered and was frustrated. My best friends R and S are both preggo and they have handled this really well.
So that's my life right now. I had a really blessed weekend though and for that I am thankful.
~Shannon
