Next Wednesday is Samantha's one year loss....and I'm not sure how I'm going to get through it....I am really struggling. It's gotten harder and harder suddenly...It started Saturday...and then yesterday, I tried to disconnect...but today, I am really teary...and it feels like it just happened. Just a moment ago, she was inside of me...and we were watching her heartbeat...and a few weeks flew by and then I was bleeding, helplessly watching an ultrasound that showed a darling tiny baby....that was no longer alive.
This little one that is inside of me right now....is jumping and hopping and full of life and joy it seems. And I'm so grateful.
But I miss Samantha, Dominic, and Noah......and especially Samantha right now. My first baby. And what a journey it was in those 13 weeks.
Jesus, hold me tight. And God, I know....you've reminded me...that you lost your Son...and you get it. I know you do.
Sometimes I feel so alone.
~Shannon
