This blog

So....due to the fact that I want some more privacy in writing, I will no longer be using this blog. I will leave it here for myself to go back and see the journey of the past year....but I may be writing privately elsewhere eventually and keeping it out of view of the public eye. I need a place away from the world. I will likely only share it with a few people. Thank you to all who have read and offered support!

Next Wednesday

Next Wednesday is Samantha's one year loss....and I'm not sure how I'm going to get through it....I am really struggling. It's gotten harder and harder suddenly...It started Saturday...and then yesterday, I tried to disconnect...but today, I am really teary...and it feels like it just happened. Just a moment ago, she was inside of me...and we were watching her heartbeat...and a few weeks flew by and then I was bleeding, helplessly watching an ultrasound that showed a darling tiny baby....that was no longer alive.

This little one that is inside of me right now....is jumping and hopping and full of life and joy it seems. And I'm so grateful.

But I miss Samantha, Dominic, and Noah......and especially Samantha right now. My first baby. And what a journey it was in those 13 weeks.

Jesus, hold me tight. And God, I know....you've reminded me...that you lost your Son...and you get it. I know you do.

Sometimes I feel so alone.

~Shannon

We are getting there

We are almost 35 weeks along. Crazy? Baby is kicking like mad.

Struggling emotionally....Samantha's loss anniversary is creeping up--9/21.....
And that's hard.
And Dominic would be a teensy guy...born in August if all had gone well......
And Noah's would be due in the next week or so.

But we have Baby Sprout and he/she is coming.

Just mixed feelings.

I have the best therapist in the world. I had mentioned to J that I wanted to purchase the book "Someone Came Before You"....she bought it and gave it to me last night. It's a great way to tell your little ones about the person who was there before them.

Three someones came before you, baby.......


So things are good on the friendship scene:

Meeting two awesome friends for dinner/maybe a movie/shopping tonight. Sunday, we get received as members in our new church followed by a potluck lunch....Monday, coffee with a friend from my support group...and lunch with another friend. And next Saturday, a day out again with a different friend! I am blessed to say that after been here for four years, I have finally made some great friends who are supportive and understanding and that I can enjoy spending time with them. Chris and I decided it was good for me to spend as much time with friends right now, before baby comes, to strengthen my support network and prepare me emotionally---as well as keep me connected to them since things will be a little chaotic at first!


This last week I started an awesome Bible study......on Jonah and seeing life's interruptions as God's divine interventions. BEAUTIFUL. It's going to be a blessing. I'm enjoying studying the Word with 40-45 other women through our new church.....

Anyhow, a long rambling post...but there's my life!

~Shannon