What's this about?

I am Shannon and my husband is Chris. This is a place to share and process struggles related to miscarriages, eating disorders, and Shannon's struggle with sexual abuse. We have found that joy, exempt of Christ, is often bittersweet in this life. We look forward to heaven where sweetness will abound and bitterness will be gone.







Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Didn't Light A Candle

Friday night, Chris and I went to a football game with his family. We had a good time. However, halfway there, Chris's alarm on his phone went off. We were both perplexed and then I said "Oh no! How can we light a candle for Samantha Peep at 7 PM if we are not home?!" I started hyperventilating. He told me to breathe. Then I calmed down. I had a realization.

My job now isn't to take care of Samantha Peep. Samantha is more than completely taken care of in God's hands. I did what I could do while our sweet baby was growing inside of my womb. But that's all I could do. Now my earthly work as her mom is done. However, my job is to take what I've learned and to bring glory to God and to witness.

When I realized this, I said "The only one who can make me feel guilty about not lighting a candle is ME. And I'm not going to make myself feel guilty. I'm out. I'm trying to live life and accept that God wants me here right now. So I'm not going to regret my life."

So...I have to remember that the only one who can make me feel guilty is me.

~Shannon
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1 comment:

  1. DebbieOctober 19, 2010 at 5:09 PM

    Shannon,
    I'm sorry you weren't able to light a candle on Friday night. But Samantha understands. Like you said, in a later post, God is taking care of her.. In my mind, that's the best place to be. Another thing to remember is, you don't necessarily need a candle to remember her by. She will always be a part of you-no matter what! Keep living your life as a testimony to God, that's the best way to keep her memory alive!

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