Friday night we were at a big meeting for church. It was hard for me to focus but I did my best. However, I was very stressed and frustrated when we got out. Already feeling crummy about myself, Chris said something that wasn't meant to upset me but did! I was a hysterical mess for about half an hour. It was pretty bad. I called J (my therapist) and when she returned my call, I was finally able to calm down. I was flailing, sobbing, hyperventilating, and trying to hurt myself and Chris was trying to contain me. I was struggling with self-hatred for "not being able to get over this." J reminded me that I lost a baby! That is not an easy thing to deal with. I felt like I should maybe be a little easier on myself....Saturday went a little better. I did what I could do and also did what I needed to do and that was good enough.
Shannon
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