So contrary to what it might seem with my frequent posting these past two days, I am actually at work and doing work! I'm a quick typer and as thoughts come to me, they just pour out and then I continue on with my work. I have actually been more productive by clearing my head as thoughts pop in. Thank you, Lord, for a laid back work environment where my boss's only focus is on whether or not everything gets done and he could care less what we do the rest of the time.
Yesterday I wrote about how there is no closure, nothing left with a miscarriage. It is not like another death where you have a chance to grieve and look at mementos. For me, I felt it would be healthy to write a general gravestone heading and an obituary.
If I had been chosing the epitaph to put on a gravestone, I would have put her name as Samantha Peep Schroeder, July 11th, 2010-September 21, 2010, Beloved Child of God. There would have been a lamb engraved somewhere on the stone because we saw her as a lamb of God and wanted her to know the Lamb of God.
I feel like right now I have to insert that we would not have really made her middle name Peep had she been born and lived. Peep was simply Samantha's nickname before she was Samantha while she was growing inside of me because we likened Peep to being a little chick. For us, it gave us our own personal reference instead of using the generic baby reference. It made her very real to us. So now having lost her and not having the opportunity to actually meet her and name her, she is forever Samantha Peep.
For her obituary, things get more complicated...Perhaps I will continue to work on what I would have wanted that to say.
By the way, to all my new followers, friends or now blog acquaintances, thank you for reading. Really, thank you for listening. You are a blessing to me. I shared in response to my post "Two followers" that I felt validated by having readers, like what I have to say is worth sharing.
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