How I Feel Loved

A fellow blogger and dear friend from college, Rachel, recently blogged about Gary Chapman's Five Love Languages. I wanted to share how Chris and I used the Five Love Languages to enhance our marriage early on because he was doing things because he loved me but he wasn't speaking my love language.

The five love languages (as explained by Gary Chapman):

1. Physical Touch
2. Words of Affirmation (compliments, nice notes, etc.)
3. Quality Time (spending meaningful time together)
4. Acts of Service (doing something for a person, like cleaning for them or washing their car)
5. Gift Giving

When Chris and I first got married, we struggled with loving each other the way we wanted to be loved. I would hug and kiss Chris and give him lots of compliments while he would shower me with gifts and do lots for me. To me, it seemed that Chris's actions were heartless and non-meaningful. To Chris, it seemed like I was just doing something that came naturally to me (which it did) but wasn't meeting his needs. That's because my top language is physical touch, followed by words of affirmation and quality time, while his two top languages are acts of service and gift giving. Once we identified that was one of our issues, our relationship changed significantly. He began hugging, cuddling, and holding me willingly because he knew I needed that. In turn, I made sure to surprise him by doing things like cleaning the house without him or taking care of things he said he would do or sometimes picking up a small present. Our relationship changed signficantly for the better. It was really neat.

Anyhow, I just wanted to share that how I feel loved is physical touch. I am a hugger and a cuddler. When I'm sad, the best thing you can do for me is put your arm around me and just be with me--that's a quality time thing. When I am happy, grab my hands and jump up and down for joy. Then squeeze me tight and say yay with me! It's funny but the more I realize about myself, the more intrigued I am by myself and others. God made us all so different and with such unique needs and desires.

What's your love language? Your spouse or significant other's? Your best friend's?
Think about it....It may help you to identify yours and theirs and you may find that your relationship is better because of it.

~Shannon