It's been kind of a disappointing day. I talked to my best friend J (It's convenient that my five best friends all have different first intials) and that was a blessing. But she was encouraging and we had a relatively hilarious conversation.
But here's the deal, I think I had a very early miscarriage. My period was late and it is never late. It wasn't even late from the D&C---only about 4.5 weeks post D&C. But now we are on day 45 since my last period. Normally, I am on a 30 day cycle so we're saying it's been over six weeks since I started my last period. I did not have a positive pregnancy test but I felt pregnant. I had the EXACT same symptoms I had with Samantha and then slowly the nausea and sore breasts were gone again. I felt pregnant for about 2.5 weeks. Then I thought maybe I am not pregnant. Now, on day 45, significantly late (I have never had a late or missed period ever!!! Except when I was pregnant!) I am having bleeding like I have never had before and the blood is different. It is stringier and seems thicker like there's a little tissue in it. It's more like the bleeding I had the night before the D&C. My lower back and stomach have been slightly crampy for the past week...which is also weird. Couple that with the fact that I have ALWAYS and I MEAN ALWAYS, even my last period, after the D&C, been extremely emotional right before my period comes! This time I was not at all emotional. Even right now, I don't feel as emotionally wrecked as I usually do on my period. Granted, I am on an antidepressant but still...........I am upset about the fact that I feel as though I was pregnant. We also had TONS of sex....no protection...but that's all I want to say about that....
So today, that's what came on. While playing anesthesiologist to the surgeon, I had to go to the bathroom only to find this different, not so normal, period. That's a bummer.
Also, this past weekend I got an interesting phone call. Remember that friend that hadn't called me at all since I called her about the miscarriage??? She called FOR THE FIRST TIME and left a voicemail that basically said she just wanted to tell me she found out she was having a girl! Didn't wait for me to call her back or ask me how I was doing....none of that. I found it very self-centered and was frustrated. My best friends R and S are both preggo and they have handled this really well.
So that's my life right now. I had a really blessed weekend though and for that I am thankful.
~Shannon
Shannon,
ReplyDeleteI wish I knew what to say. Did the doctor's say your cycle would be out of whack for a while after the D&C?
I guess I just want to let you know that I read this and I'm thinking of you.
Love,
Rachel
Thank you for replying Rachel. It made me feel less alone. The doctors did not say that I would be terribly out of whack. And I did have one very normal period only 4.5 weeks post D&C so that's what makes this strange too. Chris looked at how much and what I was bleeding out last night and it significantly resembles the evening before the D&C when my bleeding and aching had picked up. Now he is really convinced and he's pretty level headed.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much....
Love you too,
Shannon
Aw Shanny, I don't know what to say. :( That's not a fun realization... Still, it seems kinda weird you never had a positive pregnancy test.
ReplyDeleteYour period sounds a lot like mine do though, when I had a late one. I was just starting to get late and heavy periods again after going off the pill... they would be 45-60 days in length sometimes. Which if you think about it, would give more opportunity for blood and tissue build up. That's why my cramps were usually so bad. But then again, you've been regular your whole life, and I've been irregular my whole life!
I will pray that your body continues to heal from the devastation of a miscarriage so that you can carry a healthy baby to term! (and of course for your emotional, spiritual and mental wellbeing as well).
Sarah,
ReplyDeleteThanks Sarah. I have done a ton of research on this and have found that early miscarriages (without even a positive test) are very common. The only way they are often caught is because a women has a blood HCG test and the levels are more sensitive. Most of the time, HCG isn't made until implantation happens...so I'm assuming implantation didn't work out.
Missing this baby...
Thank you for the prayers.
Love,
S