What I Struggle With

Because I struggle with an eating disorder but it's not classic, I often feel the need to explain my struggle. I most closely relate with bulimia but my eating disorder is not specific. For one to suffer from bulimia, you must binge first, then purge. There have been only a few times in my life where I have had a true binge than purge. More often, I just feel guilty no matter what I eat. It could be a container of yogurt. It could be an apple. It could be a cookie. There is actually no differentiation which most people don't get.  For me, the mere idea of eating anything is a trigger. So what do I do? I either don't eat or when I do, I throw up or take laxatives.....When I work out, I overexercise.......Well, for five months, I didn't do that. I maintained my size/weight and ate regular balanced normal meals. But when I struggle this is how....

Anyhow, that's what I struggle with. I feel like I just want people to understand me. A prior therapist (who didn't get me) told me that I was in a box and that she could treat and relate to all people with eating disorders the same. This is not true! I fully believe every person is different and your approach to interacting and supporting someone has to come from what works for them. That's why I want you to know what I struggle with........

~Shannon