Really Reflecting on I Will Carry You By Selah

Dear Samantha,

These words make me think of you all the time. I still carry you so close to my heart.

There were photographs I wanted to take
Things I wanted to show you
Sing sweet lullabies
Wipe your teary eyes
Who could love you like this?

People say that I am brave
But I'm not
Truth is
I'm barely hanging on

But there's a greater story
Written long before me
Because He loves you like this

I will carry you
While your heart beats here
Long beyond the empty cradle
Through the coming years

I will carry you
All my life
I will praise the One
Who's chosen me
To carry you

Such a short time
Such a long road
All this madness
But I know
That the silence
Has brought me to His voice
And He says

I've shown photographs
of time beginning
Walked her through
the parted sea
Angel lullabies
no more teary eyes
Who could love her
like this?

I will carry you
While your heart beats here
Long beyond the empty cradle
Through the coming years
I will carry you
all your life
I will praise the One
Who's chosen me to carry you

Right now another brother or sister is growing inside of me. I love your sibling that we are calling Sprout. But you will always have a special place in my heart as my first baby. I miss you more than you can ever know. Even though it's been six months, it still stings to think about how much I miss you. I wish so badly that in April, I was bringing you home. I want to bring you and Noah and Dominic and Sprout home. All of you. One big happy family. But this side of heaven that can not happen. So I simply look ahead to the day when it can. When Jesus returns or when He calls me home. And finally, we will be together.

I love you, Samantha Peep. And we will meet in the land of perfection where nothing can snatch you from me. Jesus will hold us together until then.

Squeeze your brothers. I love all of you, my dear babies, more than I ever knew was possible.

Love,
Mommy