I'm certain that my hormones fluctuating must cause me some of my depression and grief over the lost baby. Sometimes I'm completely fine. And then BAM! Tears....Last night was like that. I was tempted to check myself in to our psychiatric hospital in town. Chris and I talked and I calmed down. I have an appointment with my new doctor next Monday but it feels so far off. Don't worry...I wouldn't do anything irrational. I would definitely ask for help and find it before doing anything that would hurt me. I don't want to hurt myself...but I also don't want to feel like I want to hurt myself! I just miss Samantha terribly. My body feels empty, my life feels empty, my heart feels empty. I know I can't rely on those feelings but that's how it is. I want another baby to love on and to raise....
~Shannon
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