The eating disorder (which I often use to refer to my struggle rather than bulimia because I was not a classic bulimic especially not in recent times) is trying to rear it's head on me again. But today I had a hopeful thought. The last time I did anything like take laxatives, throw up, etc. was July 30th. That was 2 months and 13 days ago. I have made it that long. Of course, I had the motivation of taking care of a little baby. But who knows...there could be a little one in me right now again. One can not know. Also, why would I do something to myself that I would never allow anyone else that I love to do to themself? It is not logical. I forced myself to eat a healthy breakfast and now I am finally eating lunch (it was a battle....it's now 2:15 PM) today and I will go home and eat dinner. Chris and I will take a walk, maybe play some football, and we'll have a nice night. I will not succumb to the false temptations that offer me temporary relief and control.
Sometimes I wonder if this is my cross to bear....
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