I've heard it said that when a parent loses a child they grieve not only what that child was but also all the possibilities. I grieve the future we would have had. In my mind, I was going to pass away first so Samantha was forever going to be in our life. Sadly, life doesn't always work out how we expect. Here's my list of what I'll miss:
1) Her birth---I was so looking forward to delivering her and holding her and looking her in the eyes and us telling her we loved her so much and we were her mommy and daddy and promising to always take care of her.
2) Her first smile
3) Her first tooth
4) Her first laugh
5) First steps
6) First words
7) Her baptism
8) Kisses and hugs
9) I love you, Mommy
10) Christmas gifts she made herself
This is too hard....I'll write more later.
~Shannon
Shannon, This is Sarah Milan(Collins) from CUAA. I was talking with Christel today, and she let me know about your daughter and your blog. I have to tell you that my heart is breaking for you. I was in tears because, being a mom now myself, I can only imagine what life would be like without my son. I am praying for you... hard... Only other women who have been pregnant can understand the God-given attachment we feel for our children. Though I can't fully understand your struggle, I can understand the love you have for your daughter. I pray you will find renewed comfort daily. I want to thank you for being an example of a trusting heart. May God bless you both.
ReplyDeleteSarah,
ReplyDeleteThank you for checking in and reading this. And thank you for your empathy. I really appreciate your understanding. We continue to just take life one day at a time knowing that nothing is permanent except our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, and learning (I wish I was already there!) to be content and trust Him.
Blessings to you and your family, Sarah. Thank you so much.
Shannon