Don't think for a minute

Don't think for a minute that even if I seem happy or focused on something that Samantha isn't in the back of my mind. She's always on my mind, simply a split second away from focusing on her. Don't pretend she didn't exist. She was real. I saw my baby's heartbeat. My body changed. I saw her squirm on the ultrasound. I saw how she had grown the day we found out she was gone. Samantha's so real...she just waits ahead. I remember her and I think about her always. She's the last thought before I go to bed and the first one on my mind when I wake up. And every morning, it hurts again. It's been six and a half weeks and I wonder when I'll start to feel better. If I ever won't hurt thinking about it. I just don't know.

~Shannon