Where I'm Supposed To Be and Where Am I?

Sometimes it's hard for me to accept that this where I'm supposed to be. What do I mean by that you might ask? I mean that I am in the hands of God and at the threshold of His will. I have, especially of late, prayed that His will be done. Sometimes I question what His will is. But I know that He is good, He is right, and His way is best.

So where am I supposed to be? I am supposed to be right here where I have no control over my life, where I realize that every breath I take is by the grace of God, and that every day I wake is only by His will. I'm desperately out of control (I refer to self-control) and yet totally and completely secure.

I saw a beautiful picture of a little baby (who was born prematurely and had passed away) who was so small that he fit in the palm of his father's hand. The beauty of the picture was that I envisioned myself held in the much larger hand of my Heavenly Father. That image for me was profoundly impacting. When we are being held by our father, we are safe. We don't need to understand what's going on but simply trust.

Trust. That's where I am supposed to be. Walking by faith. It's all I can do. When people tell me I'm strong, I'm surprised because I don't feel that strong. I feel that God is carrying me and all I can do is ride along, walk that walk by faith. I'm learning daily, more and more, to trust Him. I am finding myself growing through this process and finding myself able to trust Him more and more.

This is a reflection on where I am and I'm refreshed to know that sometimes how I feel is exactly where I need to be.

Lord, convict my heart when I'm not where I need to be, and let your will be done. Give me your peace when I am anxious. Help me to trust you more and more. Lord, let my life not be mine but let it be yours.

~Shannon