What's this about?

I am Shannon and my husband is Chris. This is a place to share and process struggles related to miscarriages, eating disorders, and Shannon's struggle with sexual abuse. We have found that joy, exempt of Christ, is often bittersweet in this life. We look forward to heaven where sweetness will abound and bitterness will be gone.







Wednesday, November 3, 2010

would have been 19 weeks along

If I was still pregnant with little Samantha....I'd be almost 19 weeks along. Almost halfway to meeting her. And if something had gone wrong then, close to the 20 week mark, might have been able to save her.

Those are the thoughts that run through my head. I have to remember that God's will is done.

I really didn't know how much I could love her. I really didn't. I am a loving person. I love my husband intensely and my closest family and dearest friends intensely but this is different. Other than Chris, I've never felt my heart pulled this hard. Guess that is how God made us.

I miss you, Samantha. Dance on a cloud and hug Jesus tight today. I'll be there soon enough....from my end, it feels like forever, but someday it'll seem only like the blink of an eye.

It's been six weeks....will I ever not dwell on this? I'm functioning and getting more back to normal but I don't feel happy.

Shannon

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